About a week before our date, He called me to ask me out. I was impressed and grateful. Calling for a date has become a difficult task for men now and most have resorted to texting for a date, or to "hang out." He scheduled a day and time when He'd pick me up and take me to dinner, followed by ice cream. He thanked me for letting Him take me out and told me how excited He was for our date - so was I!
A week later, He knocked on my door, right on schedule, and presented me with a small gift. I was flattered, and He again told me how excited he was for our date. As we walked out of my apartment, He opened all of my doors for me. We turned on some good tunes as we chatted. He asked me a lot of questions as we drove to Olive Garden, sincerely enjoying my company and caring about what I had to say.
Again, He opened all my doors for me as we entered Olive Garden. He ordered pizza and I ordered pasta. We laughed, took funny pictures, and talked the whole time we ate. He was kind and polite to our waiter, always saying thank you and never being demanding. He paid for both our meals and, once again, opened all my doors as we left.
We decided to change up our plans a little and instead of getting ice cream, going to Petsmart! Lucky for us, Petsmart was having a big adoption day at the store and there were many animals there. We looked at all the reptiles and played with the many dogs and cats. I felt like a kid on Christmas over all the animals available to play with.
As we left Petsmart, He told me how much He liked going on a date with me and complimented me on "looking like a princess." He was so sweet, sincere, and a gentleman. He said goodbye to me at my front door where He gave me a hug goodbye.
Isaac, my date, is five years old and my nephew. After I put my mission papers in, my whole family guessed where I was going to serve. The winner won a paid-for date with me. Isaac guessed Hong Kong, being the closest to Japan, and received the "grand prize!"
When Liz (my sister, Isaac's mother) dropped him off at my apartment, he had brought his booster seat, which he insisted on carrying AND opening my doors. After buckling him in, he asked if we could listen to "Eye of the Tiger" and proceeded to pester with me questions and listened carefully to all my answers.
On our way home, Isaac and I talked about the good dates and not-so-good dates I've been on. I thanked him for being a good date and he said, "I like going on dates with you, Anna."
I've thought a lot about our date since then as well as dates my friends and family have been on. We have all heard the horror stories of guys not being a gentlemen and sometimes a jerk or girls getting upset with guys for opening their door and paying for their meals. I don't understand why anyone would behave this way, but more importantly, I don't understand why anyone would accept it without saying or doing anything.
A few months ago, I was on a date with a guy that got out of his car and watched me, waiting to see if I opened my door. I sat in my seat and waited, then he quickly walked over and opened it for me, saying, "thanks for letting me open your door. I've had girls get upset with me for opening their doors before so I wasn't sure if I should open yours." I was shocked. My first thought was, "you should have opened it anyways" and I still think that. Unfortunately, there are women who believe that in order to be viewed as "equal" with men, they must give up traditional gender roles that women play, causing them to become more "independent." It is completely ironic that women with this attitude are called "feminists." "The gender differences in men and women are not only essential, they are biological. When people choose to homogenize themselves they choose to ignore and suppress their identities. It is only by accepting and respecting such differences that both genders can find greater harmony with each other and with God."
Good article on gender differences -----> http://familyshare.com/gender-differences-between-men-and-women-are-essential
Guys: A real man is one who respects a woman even if she doesn't respect herself.
A common phrase I hear from my girl friends is, "I hate men, they are all the same." Unfortunately, many of these girls have had bad experiences with guys who are disrespectful, liars, impolite, and just plain rude. These girls have given up and believe that there are no more good guys out there, or that they are "all taken." I once heard a quote that says, "a bitter woman will complain that all men are the same. A smart woman will stop going after the same kind of men." I believe this rings true. I also believe that the big reason good, respectful men are hard to find is from a lack of respect women have towards themselves along with settling for less than they deserve.
Girls: If you want a guy who will love, adore, and respect you, you should love, adore, and respect yourself. This does not mean you must think you're better than others or that you must vocalize how you view yourself. You do not need to be cocky, just confident. Actions speak louder than words. I recently went on a date with a guy who admitted that men can sense a girl with a lack of self respect from miles away and many will take advantage of that. Light attracts light. So love yourself a little more, love others a little more, raise your standards a little higher, and stick to them. There are many guys out there who recognize the worth of souls and will treat you right. Don't settle in the mean time.
On the flip side, I have had countless instances where men will text me for a date or to "hang out" rather than calling me for a date. I do not think these guys are terrible by any means, but I do think it shows a lack of class, a lack of manners, and a lack of respect. My impression of a guy immediately diminishes when he texts me for a date. Texting is not a terrible thing, but it does lie near the bottom of the "good ways to communicate" pyramid. Because it has become a very common way to communicate, it has become the norm and standard. Calling someone has become a scary and hard thing to do. Think back twenty to thirty years ago when no one had cell phones. Many guys would have to call landlines in order to ask a girl out, taking the chance of the mother or father answering first. How would you like to go through a girl's mom or dad before asking her out? Since texting has become so common, it is now "impressive" when a guy calls a girl for a date. I have had to ask guys more times than I can count to please call me instead of text me for a date. No guy should be told this, or wait to open a girls door.
Thankfully, I have never had a "terrible" date. There have been some dates that could have gone better, and there have been some that couldn't have gone better. I have been blessed with the opportunity to go on dates and seriously date some really great guys who treat me like gold. These guys open my door, pay for our date, are open and completely honest with me, value my opinion, share my standards, and pay me sincere compliments.
Girls: Stop hating on men as a whole because you've had bad experiences. We all have, and those of us who are still dating will continue to have some "bad dates." If you're losing hope in ever meeting a "good guy," re-check the type of guys you're going after and re-check how much you respect yourself. Don't be afraid to say "no" if you're uncomfortable with something. Let the men you date be a gentleman. Let them open your doors, give you their jacket when you're cold, buy you a nice dinner, send you flowers, and make you feel special. It doesn't make you any less independent and it does not mean you are incapable of taking care of yourself. Let's stop marginalizing men because let's be honest - there are some pretty awesome guys out there. If you're not sure, come talk to me. I can tell you hours upon hours of good things men have done for me. Props to you girls who are not settling for less than you deserve and not speaking poorly of men as a whole.
Good article on un-marginalizing men -----> http://familyshare.com/ways-to-un-marginalize-your-man
Guys: Take the initiative more and stop texting for dates! Ask her out to her face or call her. If you're going to spend time with her in person for a date, talking over the phone shouldn't be that hard. Be a gentleman. It'll make you feel more like a man. Don't take advantage of the girls with low self-esteem. There are plenty of them out there. Instead of making more girls feel like your gender is continually deteriorating, help them realize that you, a good guy, exists. Step up to the plate. If a five year old can, you DEFINITELY can. Also, if you've had bad experiences with a girl being emotional, needy, or even a little promiscuous towards you, stop referring to her as "crazy." Remember, a real man will respect a woman, even if she doesn't respect herself. Props to you "good guys" out there. Nice guys do not finish last. They only finish last with the girls that have not yet discovered the importance and value of a nice guy.
Good article on labeling women -----> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harris-oamalley/on-labeling-women-crazy_b_4259779.html
Thanks Isaac for being one of the good ones, helping me realize how many good guys there really are out there, and showing me how women should be treated. Here's to better dates and respecting one another!
